Co-Sleeping with a Baby: Pros and Cons

Families may use the terms "bed-sharing" and "co-sleeping" interchangeably. However, there are subtle differences between the two. Co-sleeping is a practice that involves a parent and child sleeping in close physical or social contact with each other to facilitate bonding and emotional attachment.

Co-sleeping can also be defined as sharing a bed with one's baby. However, it can encompass other forms of sleeping arrangements, such as sleeping in the same room as the baby, either by keeping the baby's crib in the parent's bedroom or sleeping in the nursery as the parent.

It is important to note that in this article, we will specifically refer to the practice of sleeping on the same surface as the baby. This practice has been associated with both benefits and risks, and it is essential to consider all factors when deciding on a sleeping arrangement that is safe and suitable for both the parent and child.

Some particular conditions make co-sleeping more dangerous, due to their nature:

● Co-sleeping is done on a sofa versus a bed

● The baby is under 98 days old

● Co-sleeping is done all night versus some of the night

● If the adult co-sleeping has consumed alcohol, or opioids

● If the adult co-sleeping has smoked, nicotine, marijuana or illicit drugs

While there is no such thing as “safe” bed-sharing, there are certain things that parents find positive about the experience. Here are a few of them:

For overtired moms, getting to rest their backs while you breastfeed is a blessing. A lot of women prefer co-sleeping because it provides quick access to a feeding session, plus it encourages closer contact. 

It also makes falling back asleep easier, as less moving around is involved, however, this practice can quickly turn dangerous if both the mom and baby fall asleep inadvertently.

When co-sleeping, a lot of babies tend to fall asleep quicker and stay asleep too. This is because they can feel their mom’s proximity, benefiting from her warmth and scent. Moms prefer this too as the longer the baby sleeps, the longer they can catch some extra sleep on those rough nights.

Being right next to their baby guarantees all parents that they can attend to any noises such as coughing and stirring. It also helps ease some anxiety in parents who are scared their baby might not be breathing right.

While the pros mentioned above make co-sleeping seem like an innocent enough practice, most parents are unaware of the risks that it poses, particularly for preemies or babies younger than 6 months of age.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has strongly made several statements against co-sleeping, particularly because of the risk of Sudden Infant Death syndrome linked to this practice, particularly when the consumption of alcohol and/or drugs is involved.

When co-sleeping involves the baby lying right beside you in bed (as opposed to being in an attached bedside sleeper), there's a significant risk that the baby might tumble out and suffer serious injuries.

While knowing your baby is asleep right next to you can help some parents sleep easy, many struggle with fear of crushing them, suffocating them accidentally. It also creates anxiety surrounding nightly bathroom visits, as these will disturb the baby and cause them to be awake.

A sleep crutch is defined as behaviors that become mentally extremely linked for babies with sleep. Without these, they can’t fall asleep. Some examples can be certain sounds such as singing or humming, or in this case, feeling their parents ’ presence during bedtime.

Another big point to consider is the future. A lot of parents struggle when it is time to switch sleeping arrangements after sharing a bed for a long time, as this can trigger negative feelings in the baby, and guilt on the parent.

Sleeping with your baby will definitely impact intimacy between you and your partner, and this isn’t exclusive to sexual intercourse. A lot of couples rely on those last moments before falling asleep to have meaningful conversations and keep their bond strong. 

When co-sleeping, these practices are avoided in order to keep the room quiet, further affecting the relationship. 

Bed-sharing is a culturally rooted practice that is prevalent in some societies. In these regions, the incidence of infant deaths associated with this practice is relatively low. This may be attributed to variations in bedding and mattresses as well as differences in cultural practices.

However, it is imperative to note that health experts strongly advise against parents putting their infants to sleep in adult beds due to serious safety risks. For instance, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants sleep on their backs, on firm and flat surfaces, in cribs, bassinets, or play yards that meet safety standards. 

The organization further discourages bed-sharing, as it increases the risk of accidental suffocation, entrapment, and strangulation.

Thus, while the cultural significance of bed-sharing cannot be ignored, parents must be made aware of the safety risks it poses to their infants. Providing safe sleeping environments for infants is paramount, and health experts advocate for parents to follow established guidelines to mitigate risks.

There are a series of actions you can take to ensure your baby is safe throughout the night:

● Supine positioning

● Use of a firm, non inclined sleep surface

● Room sharing without bed sharing

● Avoidance of soft bedding and overheating the room

● Keep soft objects, such as toys, fur-like materials, and loose bedding away

● Avoidance of exposure to nicotine, alcohol, marijuana, opioids, and illicit drugs

● Routine immunization

● Use of a pacifier

A safer alternative to co-sleeping is room-sharing. Your baby can sleep in your bedroom, as long as they are in their designated space: a crib or bassinet. This will ensure you are still close but they have their own safe, controlled environment.

This is the safest way to get the best of both worlds: you get to be in tune with your baby’s needs and ease your worries while still keeping your own space. It’s easier to feed them this way too. 

Room sharing is the perfect alternative to co-sleeping, but it does require some training, as babies who are used to bed-sharing struggle with being put down on their own at first. 

With that being said, we can’t deny the amazing benefits: sharing a room enhances the convenience of feeding, diaper changes, and snuggling with your baby. Additionally, room sharing has been identified as a preventive measure against sleep-related infant deaths.

There are no rules when it comes to sleep training, as it is a process that very much depends on each infant. The only specific rule to this practice is that it should be started after four months of age, as this is when your baby’s feedings will start being less frequent during the night.

However, it does pose certain challenges for the parents themselves, as some babies cry before falling asleep while they adapt, making it difficult for them to fall asleep, or stay asleep during night wakings.

The American Association of Pediatrics recommends room-sharing up to at least six months of age, as this aligns both with the exclusive breastfeeding window, and their most vulnerable age. It’s perfect to ensure they get a great start in life.

Moving them to their own room also encourages routines, once the right time comes. Co-sleeping babies will naturally tend to fall asleep later in the night, as we adults tend to stay up later.

When you want to implement a routine, putting them down in their room earlier in the evening will encourage early sleepers, giving you a chance to have some extra minutes to close off on the day’s activities around the house.

Ultimately, it is your choice as a parent to make a final choice when it comes to your baby’s sleeping arrangements. However, it’s important to keep their safety in mind first. 

Practices like room sharing are perfect for strengthening your bond and keeping an eye on your baby throughout the night, there is no denying it. If you decide to take a safer approach, it will be easier for you to get a better night’s rest, contributing to your overall sense of ease and good parenting. 

As always, remember to consult your doctor if you notice any unusual behavior in your baby’s sleeping pattern. For anything else, just know that The Milky Box has got all your parenting needs covered.